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TURBULENCE

Rising river of rapids swallowing my breath

There is a storm in the distance

Echoing a familiar pain about to strike

Like a fierce wind that catches you off guard

Slamming you to the ground, broken, and shattered

The sunlight came for a moment

You were my moment

In the haze of each new day, I felt you

The warmth of your soul brought a new hope

Then your fire raged and tore through everything good

Leaving a charred wreckage of ash and destruction

Not only scarred, but obliterated

The land is barren with inescapable hurt

Somehow, the turbulence in life will dissipate

But not before

Eliminating all light inside me

All will become but a memory

Of the sunny storm cloud

That was an electrifying lightning strike

Called you.

 

For Feroz Ahamad Ganie

3/5/2012

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IT WAS YOU

 

Before I dreamed him………..it was you

I dreamed my first kiss…………………it was you

I smelled his skin…………………………it was you

I saw the outline of his form……………it was you

I imagined true love……………………..it was you

My heart skipped a beat………….it was you

I was made for him………………….it was you

I felt like a woman…………….it was you

The days came quickly……………….it was you

The distance was torment………………………it was you

I felt whole……………………………………it was you

I waited a lifetime for him………………………..it was you

To death I’d commit my soul………………………..it was you

Forever in eternity……………………………………..it was you

He secures my heart……………………………….it was you

Tenderly loving me………………………………it was you

I longed for nothing but him…………………………..it was you

I am complete……………………………………………….it was you

No one compares……………………………………….it was  you

I gave all I had……………………………………..it was you

I am lost without him………………………………….it was you

My heart stops beating…………………………………it was you

I feel deaths sting………………………………….it was you

Emptiness hurts inside……………………………..it was you

I will love him eternally…………………………it was you

This pain annihilates me……………………………..it was you

I am with him always, near or far…………………….it was you

Feroz is his name, the love of my life………………it was you.

 

To my husband:

Feroz Ahamad Ganie

9-17-2012

Delusion upon intrusion on a broken heart

Whispers of a devilish nature

Constantly wooing me with promises

Keeping me just close enough to believe

Bending back and fro in the pattern

Looking left and right, spinning around

Here, there, they are everywhere

Invading my thoughts with every heartbeat

In a maze of false persona and grins

I start to smash the mirrors of deception

The path becoming clear

Or is it a smoke screen of refection

No, it’s real

A light of hope shining now revealed

My broken heart of our dreams

There was never us, only me

Merely a dream of myself that grew

Including you to see the possibility of life together

Hope

Dreams

A future

Love

With you

Who was never really there, invading my reflection

 

©Wendy Poole

6/16/2012

For Feroz Ahamad Ganie

DOOMED TO YOU

What is this insatiable hold you have over me?

There is a stirring in my soul….

From the depths of hell I have survived

On your love for me

Hoping against the slightest of hope

To be yours forever

Locked in your being, trapped

Doomed to a life of love

Little bits of you revealed over time

Catching a glimpse of freedom

Letting love loose like a beast within

I’d rather be doomed to a life loving you

Than to a life uncertain with another

To give my utmost for your pleasure

Doomed to your complete happiness

Willing to survive it

Against all the odds that strike

You are my constant craving

My best friend I treasure

I’ve already loved you a lifetime

Doomed, you are already mine.

 

©Wendy Poole

11.12.11

For Mohsin Khan

 

CROSSING OVER?

Marriage?!? Interesting thought. I consider myself a Christian, but don’t discount other religions. Islam in particular since I know many Muslims. I can’t say I have run into many other religions that take their beliefs as seriously as a Muslim does.  I see the similarities and differences between me and them.   Clearly we both love a higher power.  Christians refer to that entity as God and Muslims as Allah.  The love is the same.   I have experienced it through them at times.  Would I convert for marriage or support my Christian status? I don’t know if that is an option.  Do I leave MY God for a MUSLIM MAN’s particular beliefs?  Why would it matter really to do so or not?  Is it necessary……if you love one another? Just curious….

Have other Christians done so?  What is the success rate?  Why don’t Muslims become Christians instead?  Where is love if all these rules dictate life, when all of it comes from BOOKS or it is what is drilled into our heads over and over again, day in and day out.  What about what the heart says and knows…what about intuition?  Why is it necessary to convert at all?  What does a woman give up in the process if her decision is to convert?  Rumor has it Muslims slap women around and are abusive toward them.  I have only experienced good things from the two muslim men I have dated and many more that I have cared for deeply.  There is a commitment on their part to express love toward others, more so than I have EVER seen in a Christian man or an American man for that matter.  Is it best to give up on love and go at life alone forever, or consider the possibilities elsewhere?  So many questions.  So much to learn.  Statistics to research.  Facts to examine.  Much to pray about.  What I see is a love of God. Call Him God, call Him Allah, why does it matter if you love HIM.  God has many names. 

Many of my friends will read this and cringe.  My family may flip out.  My Christian friends will judge me.  Those that judge me do so without cause.  I love mankind.  God commands us to love one another.  I just don’t feel this is all inclusive of my faith alone or to a particular “religion.”   If I burn in hell for it and ask questions, then I hope one day, as I stand before God….he will softly tell me if I was wrong.  In the meantime, unless I have been personally hurt by someone of another faith, that bashes my creator, I have no reason to believe love between faiths isn’t a possibility. 

After all, God IS love and love is the greatest gift. 

Don’t be haters.  Hate has no place in a heart filled with love.  Examine your own opinions.

 

 

Through my rose colored glasses I see hope

Hope for change at a better life

One full of love and passion

Surrounded by friends and family

A lifetime of joy

Having found a special friend in you

Not sure what I see at all initially

Your approach is off, rigid and abrasive

There is no comfort found in this banter

You were on my last nerve

I thought I was up for the challenge

We begin to travel mindlessly in conversation

One trying to outdo the other

Getting to know you better

Trekking past the driving distance that separates

Uniting our thoughts together now in laughter

Reaching a point of comfort and a bond

Able to share the wonder of it

Close to each other, mind and soul

I try to avoid the doubts

Better than a physical union

You have become my dearest friend

Part of the beating in my heart

Part of the hope

Seen through my rose colored glasses

Through the driving distance

You found me

 

©Wendy Poole  10.10.11

For: Mohsin Khan

SILENT RESONANCE

Like the sound of a horn about to blow

I hear it in my head like thunder clapping

Ricocheting like a bullet from a gun.

No end in sight,

From the hollow words

That rolled off your lips like vinegar,

On a hot summer day leaving me parched.

Sickening delusions stealing my smile

Burying me in an acid filled coma of silence.

A long overdue picture reel in slow motion,

Wrenching my insides out

Because I was your clueless fool blindly lost.

Did I just hear those words?

Go to hell, they hurt like it.

Our shared moments across time

That you never realized were mine to treasure

All lost in the few words spoken.

Your obligatory apology unheard

In the drowning tears

Of silent resonance in

My silly mistake of loving you…….

 

9.4.2011

©Wendy Poole

LYING SOULS

Throw your soul through every open door…..you had MY heart and soul, inside of your hand, and you played it to the beat…..the scars of your love remind me of us, they leave me breathless and keep me thinking we could have……had it all. ~Adele

Sometimes we fail to see what is right in front of us and keep looking for the greener pasture only to come up empty handed, jaded, bitter and alone. Many hearts can exist, but there is only one key. Sometimes you can hear it or see it, but mostly you have to feel it and only the soul knows………So who do you tell lies to at night when you fall asleep? Your head, your heart or your soul. Don’t go throwing your soul around……

  • Someone that needs a lot of love is only a problem for you if you can’t keep up.
  •  Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.    ~Jane Austen
  •  Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for something that will never happen.
  •  The best feeling in the world is to finally know how it feels to be in love; The worst feeling is knowing they will never love you back.
  •  It’s not the fact you lied to me, its not that you don’t care… it’s knowing I was used and knowing I will never get back all the time I spent thinking about you.
  •  Sometimes all you ever want is someone to want and need you as much as you want and need them.
  •  If men were as good at relationships as they are at lying…us women would have nothing to complain about!!!
  •  I’m mature enough to forgive you, BUT not dumb enough to trust you.
  •  We don’t talk anymore. And you know what the saddest part is? We used to talk everyday.
  •  I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
  •  Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself. (Shanny)
  •  Liars are always ready to take oaths.
  •  Trusting someone allows you to be open with them and let them in to my life.
  •  If you wish to be a leader, yet have no followers, you are simply taking a walk.
  •  Id rather make a thousand mistakes than never do anything at all.  What will be my next mistake? …   It is a fool who looks for logic within the chambers of the human heart.
  •  Success, experience & quality of your love depends on what you give others (are they nurturing your past).
  •  It is but a shadow and thought that you love.  I cannot give you what you seek.  (Lord of the Rings).
  •  I dreamed I was dying and my heart stopped.  You saved my life by piercing my heart with an arrow of your love… (Wendy Poole)
  •  Why is love such a sorrowful thing, this I never could understand; passion and pain are linked together, ever I find them hand in hand. (Laurence Hope from “The Complete Love Lyrics”).
  • Friendship requires obligation to maintain.  If you have to think about it, then all it is, is a waste of good grey matter.     Matt Ryder 2003
  •  Yes; but you will be the same to me, because we have met in Eternity, and there our intimacy was formed.       ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
  •  Forgiveness liberates the soul and removes fear. 
  •  Time passes when you’re not looking.
  • On the nights you are not with me, I feel deformed and detached.
  •  Anxious before we’ve spoken, anxious after we have. 
  • With the crown of thorns I wear, why should I be bothered with a prick like you?  ~ Dorothy Parker 

MY THEATER

The world is my theater, I am the writer, and my friends and family are my audience. Where you sit is determined by your presence in my life. Causal or committed to friendship? Not all relationships are perfect, many are toxic and shallow, even “random.” Who is in your theater, front and center and why?

If you don’t have “time” for me, I don’t have time for you either.  If  you set the pace, I will follow.  So if it bites you in the ass later, don’t blame me because it wasn’t to your advantage or life got ahead of you.  It’s simple….you make time for the things and people you love.  A phone call, lunch, texting, a letter, hanging out, road trips, etc.  Is ANYONE or ANYTHING so important they forget the people in the audience or is there only one-act to the play?  No refunds, no sell out shows.  If you are a no-show, it’s your own fault the show went on without you.

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