Waves of suspicion crash upon the shores of my heart

Bathing in memories because of all the idiots I have attracted

Eyes darting left and right in a panicked state of mind

What is truth and trust; did I just hear another lie?

My God!  My heart is racing in fear!

Your words spoken softly and with such passion;

I don’t believe a single one of them.

Suspicion killing what might be good and true.

I curse myself for not just believing enough in you.

My heart will betray my emotions a thousand more times

As my suspicious mind eagerly awaits its next fear,

In which it carelessly devours the truth that may be real.

Celebrating in itself because it is never alone, it fears nothing,

It trusts no one.

Suspicion drowns me, I choke, I spit, I stop breathing.

Suspicion killed another relationship again.

Trust and truth cannot co-exist with suspicion.

Suspicion wins out again and is the victor.

Alone in my paranoia, I add to the list of mistakes

Of listening to my heart too quickly. 

Damn that suspicious mind forever wandering away with my heart……….

©Wendy Poole 01-13-2007